"

I could stare at you until my eyes bleed. And that wouldn’t be long enough.
Mixed emotions and feelings come alive and start to arise from your slightest touch.
If it’s love why do I question how true it is?
And If it’s real why am I feeling so new to this?
Mass confusion when I’m giving answers to your questions.
Only time my head is straight is when I’m curved with full erection.
It’s a problem when my mind isn’t my protection.
I know I confide in you, but it feels like a public confession.
What am I stressing, Is it everything?
Similar feelings when thoughts of coffins and wedding rings.
I spoke up expecting solace, only thing I Received? Was fucking silence.
Spineless & courageous. Hating myself so I get sedated.
Words fumble on my tongue so I resort to violence. Smallest self esteem, I play the tiniest violin. Regret and self worth continually spiraling my brain,
I use these words as a plateau to ease the pain.
Henny and blunts don’t feel the same.
complacency to being unworthy is keeping me tame.
Looking in the mirror laughing at this fucking lame.
It’s a damn shame he’s not who I recognized,
saying that I’m happy telling myself that fucking lie.
Wondering why, and all I can do I fucking sigh.
Laugh at the days and times then I start to cry.
Damn,
is this what Hell is like? I wonder if I got the feelings right.


When the fuck did I lose my mind?
When was deceit so hard to find
When did I feel soul searching came with a line?
When did loving you become a second In time?

Depressed emotions leading to heart convolutions.
Telling her I love just so her legs could open.
Wetter than the ocean I proceed to get to stroking
Shit, I woke up reached for lotion. How the fuck did my life end up this way. I start to pray.
Crossing the street looking the wrong way first, heart or brain wonder which one is gonna decay first? Memories always seem to replay hurt,
sad stories bedding different woman kick em out an say sorry.
The pain I feel somewhere in between fake and real.
I chase the feels, smelling the aroma of Coke tryna close the deal.
relapse and cold sweats from popping all of these fucking pills.
We’ve been fighting on and off non stop.
I just wanna hold you to sleep until the stars drop.
I pause a lot, tryna gather my thoughts, losing parts of myself just to get back to the start.

When the fuck did I lose my mind?
When was deceit so hard to find
When did I feel soul searching came with a line?
When did loving you become a second In time?

"


(via elcapo)

"

Her pain must be unreal.
I wish I could explain how this love feels.
Telling her sweet nothings I’m just showing off my tongue skills.
Cry in the daytime and curse in the church still.
Lie and say I love you just to see her hurt still.
Her skirt lifts she’s reveling her worth still. The high that I feel is as low as the dirt still.
I wonder what’s still real.
Why is it she can feel my love but I can’t grasp what it is that I feel.
I perceive it as true, but if she leaves it’ll be nothing new. Only a few have stayed and accepted my stench.
I’m a storm of bad emotions and only few can stand the drench.
I’ve been a schizophrenic nympho.
Addicted to mixing Henny pain pills and Hypno. Understanding the lies told by calypsos, I’ve seemed to lose my grip though.

Make up helps you find out who to be. But every morning I’m making up someone new to be.
Helpless but not afraid, discouraged but not disdained. My self worth slowly building back up, until my own conscience starts to act up.
Breaking down, every fiber of my being. Without reason, my hearts beating away. Without treason my heart leads me astray. Searching for confinement in all the wrong people, not trusting anyone only giving each one a peephole.

Am I wrong for not letting you in,
Or am I smart for not trusting in you friend. I can’t pretend I wish it wasn’t this way. I can only pray that you choose to stay.

I don’t wish you could relate, I just wish the self hate and doubt would migrate. I can only ask for clarity,
But I’m afraid of you never understating me. You try to accept me my way. But I know one day I’ll force you to that highway. Before I myself go onto that high place and then myself I do annihilate…

"


"Only my words and 3am know my secrets"


Secrets, Joe Pound (via joepoundpoetry)

Prozac Nation

wordswritteninsilence:

We all go through phases of sadness
For some it is that nine to five
Others; it is family pressure
Not meeting goals set for them
By others from whom we incessantly seek approval
Or our own, which are always out of our grasp

So, here take a pill. It will help

You’ve been going through a…

young nigga: *comes thru on his wu tang*

bagmilk:

when people ask you personal questions

image

(Source: heteroh)